Booze of the Month! – July

Ever wonder what it’s like to chug ice-cold liberty from a patriotic can while simultaneously cheering on an American conglomerate of athletes whipping the rest of the world’s ass in just about everything? That’s an icy PBR during the Olympics my friend, and it can be yours for the conservative price of $1.25!

Pabst Blue Ribbon is the ideal beverage of choice for all of your Olympic needs: the can is already dressed in red, white and blue, it’s cheap as dirt which helps after 17 days of non-stop sports, and it’s even won a gold medal (over a decade ago, but 1st place is 1st place). Hipters and athletes alike, sprint, jump, swim, paddle, or bike your way to the nearest store and join me in 2 weeks of American domination, passing the baton that is PBR in support of our star-spangled Olympians! Ready, Set, Drink:

Pabst Blue Ribbon

Product Details: 4.74% American Lager brewed in Milwaukee, WI. Brewery started in 1844.

Appearance: The liquified embodiment of amber waves of grain.

Aroma: Smells strongly of Freedom and Democracy.

Taste: Other than it’s strong Victory notes, PBR tastes like a mixture of eagles blood and adrenaline. There’s also a heroic aftertaste of military superiority.

Food Pairings: Anything that’s slower and dumber than you.

Price: Currently running as low as $1.25 at certain bars, or $4.99 for a 24oz six pack at participating stores.

Overall:  What’s most impressive about PBR is it’s after effects: bravery, enlarged biceps, inability to learn a foreign language,  disregard for hors d’oevres, and a new found love for all firearms.


p.s. Extra points to anyone who can guess the American Classic film I’m referencing in the title picture.


6 Responses to Booze of the Month! – July
  1. Meg


  2. Andrew

    Legend has it that Patton’s brilliant tactical decisions were only made possible because of the cognitive benefits from PBR, which he drank every night prior to battle. We owe our freedom to Pabst Blue Ribbon.

  3. Jackson

    Awesome post. You sir, are referring to the movie “Patton” in the opening scenes.

    Keep up the good work Paul.


  4. Paulie

    That’s what they tought me in Social Studies, gotta be true.

  5. Jason

    PABST !!!! is wicked awesome!!!!!

  6. Paulie

    That’s the troof, troof.

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